Ho, ho, HOLD UP.

I wanted to write a really helpful post about how to deal with the anxiety that social eating can cause as a fat person, over the holiday period. I really did. But I've come to accept that my only advice is getting that shit shut down.

I had my works Christmas meal a couple of days ago and I noticed when the dessert arrived it was like the fox in the hen coop. Suddenly there was a bustle at the table of people clammering to share their desserts, they simply couldn't eat it all, and Oh! I don't think I want it now. Hmm maybe. No!

To the point where I simply banged my hands on the table and told them all to eat their fucking puddings, or don't, and to stop making a big bloody deal. I'm here for the sole purpose of eating with these people. I don't need to hear this crap.

I know that, certainly as an adult, I've been very lucky in that I haven't had anyone policing the food I eat at these gatherings. I'm sure there was the questioning brow and derisive comment as a young child, but if there was I've simply forgotten. But I know I am lucky in that respect and that this is a very real issue for many fellow fats this Christmas.

I guess the purpose of this post was for me to reach out, and to say that you don't deserve to have your choices questioned, your body made public property for all to comment on. I fully appreciate that it is difficult for a lot of people to challenge this, for a lot of reasons. But as long as you realise that you are beautiful, you are worthwhile, and that these people and their negativity can go sit on chair of up-turned plugs, you'll be ok.

I've always used humour as a tool to deal with my fat-shamers. Outsmart them. Embaress them. See how they like it. Chances are they'll feel like a big pile of..Christmas logs..when being shown up in front of a table full of people and they'll be less likely to do it again.

If you have one particular member of the family who is a repeat offender you could always appeal to their human side and speak to them before the occasion. Let them know how you feel. Speak to them afterwards and have some positive discourse. It doesn't always have to be bad!

If you have a flare for the dramatics, as I certainly do, you can always just dump your dinner on their plate and leave with the gateaux.

But ok, joking aside, and I know this is a garbled mess of a post, but I need to say it again

YOU DON'T DESERVE THIS CRAP SO DON'T TAKE IT. IT DOESN'T MATTER IF IT'S FAMILY IN FACT THEY SHOULD BE THE ONES CARING ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS AND SUPPORTING YOU.

Whatever you decide to do, I hope that you have a great time and enjoy yourself. 

OOTD: Work goth;Chrismas party edition.

Sometimes the planets align and everything seems to fall into place.
This isn't a sentence that could describe my year, however I did manage to find myself a little luck this week. Take a dress you've been eyeing for ages, add a half price sale and finish with a gift voucher with enough money to cover it all and voila! One Christmas party dress!

I spotted this Velour Skater dress in my local Marks and Spencers but given that I've been off work for nearly four months I'm pretty brassic right now. I managed to pick it up for half price. The dress is amazing! The quality of the fabric is excellent and the fit is a dream. It's actually a size 22 so while it's figure hugging (I'm a 26) it's also pretty generous if it can accomdate me so well! As it's a couple of sizes smaller it sits a little higher up my leg than what I'm used to, but it's so comfy I didn't feel self concious at all.

Feeling like a 90's goth dream I felt it was only appropriate to wear my massive clompers from back in the day when I used to go clubbing in Manchesters alt-bars and clubs. With a whopping 5 1/4 inch platform my Demonia Dynamite Mary-Janes make me feel..well..like dynamite.

As it's Christmas I cracked out my special sparkles, matching my green jewellery to my green eyeshadow.

Make up is Barry M dazzle dusts (the numbers have worn off but essentially a bright green and a darker green) and lipstick is Velvet Lip Laquer in Kooky by MUA. I finished this off with a large purple hair flower.

Hope you're all enjoying your festive parties! xoxo

Anniversary bliss

At the beginning of the month it was my 3 year anniversary with my partner. We’ve never really celebrated our anniversaries but this year has been an exceptionally tough one for us and I felt that it was an important one and we should celebrate it in some way.

After a night of pizza and bubbly (non-alcoholic as the boy is straight edge) we got up and headed on down to London for the night. Our hotel was smack bang in the middle of Leicester Square so everything we wanted to see was close by. We dumped out bags and freshened up, which was enough time to grab a bathroom selfie because I was loving my hair, before heading out. 

As we were heading to a show later that evening I wanted to wear something that was comfy but cute enough to transition into the evening. A couple of weeks ago I picked up the New Look Inspire tartan pencil skirt in black. As much as I adore pencil skirts I'm very belly heavy and it's something I'm quite self concious about, so I tend to avoid them. What can I say? I LOVE this skirt. The material is thick withouth being heavy and feels comfy and secure on. The print is gorgeous. It's a little more muted than a lot of tartan which makes it easy to wear with a variety of things. I opted for an old faithful long sleeve top for a more simple look. I teamed this with my old studded creepers, again from New Look. 

If I were to make one criticism I would say that it's bobbled quite easily on the side where I wear my handbags and considering this is the third time I've worn it I was disappointed to feel the material. 

Here's a later shot I took of the skirt when I got home to give you a better idea.

We headed over to the National Portrait Gallery and checked out some of the Tudor exhibitions and Grayson Perry’s phenomenal giant tapestry for the Who Am I? series. Sadly my back was hurting me and I needed to ration my spoons out for the trip so we had to cut the gallery time a little to fit the rest of the day in. We strolled around Covent Garden before heading over to our favourite veggie/vegan chinese buffet in Camden and had our fill on their all you can eat before walking it off round Camden market. 

Then it was time for our show. We made our way to Cecil Sharp House for an evening with one of our favourite bands, Moulettes. We'd seen them earlier in the week in Milton Keynes where, after chatting to them after the show, I was very kindly put on the guest list for the London show. Pretty rock nd roll, huh? The evening was sublime with the perfect mix of lots of Chrismas lights, beautiful music and a wonderful atmosphere. After the show we were kindly invited to join some of them in the pub where I got to have a beer with the bassist from Mumford and Sons. Only in London, right?

What a perfect way to spend a week. Eating in one of your favourite places, watching one of your favourite bands play and afterwards relaxing in the pub with them afterwards!

Hope you all had a great weekend! xoxo

So Daring!

If it wasn't already obvious I'm a budget kinda gal and right now money is tighter than ever. But sometimes you need a treat to keep you smilin'. For years I'd kind of avoided wearing lipstick. Even as a teenager I hated the feeling on my lips and ended up wiping it off after about an hour.

I feel ya, kid.

But since hitting my late twenties, and admittedly a little late to the gane, I discovered the joy of matte lipstick. I was treated to M.A.C Ruby Woo by an old boyfriend and now I haven't looked back.
Of course my budget right now does not have room for such luxuries. But my problems were solved when Make Up Acacemy (MUA) introduced their Velvet Lip Lacquer into the MUA Luxe range. I was in love and for £3 it was a total bargain! Back when they first came out I picked up three from the original range; Kooky, Reckless, and Funk
But recently MUA brought some more shades out and I treated myself to Dare.

Image taken from muastore.co.uk

The packaging is nice and simple but looks good; a frosted glass tube and the branding on the cap in gold. The applicator is like what you would find with most lip glosses. Similar to a lip gloss when you apply it but it then dries matte.

Like most mattes I've used you have to put a little prep into your lips. A little exfoliation and some balm helps to create a smoother application. One thing I've found is that they can latch onto chapped skin and crumble. But once it's on then it's ON. It's kiss-proof and has great staying power. But how does it fair with food and drink? 

Image taken post-pasty destruction

In the photo I am pouting slightly to show that there was some smuging it wasn't a great deal. It was nothing more than I would have expected and certainly less than a glossier number. 

So while I wouldn't recommend leaving it at home I think it's just one minor issue compared to a lot of positives. The colour is rich and well pigmented, application is easy, comes nicely packaged and did I mention it was £3?! So cheap! 

Are there any colours you love in their range? Have you tried them out? I'd love to know what you think! 

Kerry.

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