Orange is the new black-featuring Tu by Sainburys

My laptop is finally back up and running! Not that I've had time to miss it as I've done a few sleep-ins at work and I've spent a lot of time feeling sleepy and unmotivated. I'm hoping with more sunshine coming that I'll stop feeling like such a zombie and pull my socks up.

Until then here's a new outfit post. I actually bought this top back in December when I was getting some bits for a Christmas dinner while in my local Sainsbury's. I spotted it half a mile away given how bright it is!

There's been hints of 70's stuff coming back in and this is very reminscent of a 70's wallpaper. Bright and tacky? Winner. Plus I loves me a peter pan collar. Don't ask me why. I just think they are really cute. The material is a lovely, stretchy, and cool jersey material. 

I put this together with my trusty skater skirt from New Look. I know the skater skirt is a bit of a marmite item in the fatshion community. Mostly because it's the only cut that's been offered to fatties and it's right that you'd be bored of it. 

For me it carries a little bit of a casual and wearable retro look, and as a size 26, contrary to popular belief is pretty welcome. Vintage and retro looks, beyond swing dresses, is actually pretty inacessible for fatties beyond a 22. A heads up but sometimes fat people want the swing trousers, the cute boleros and cardigans, the cute skirts, the pea coats. Not all of us live in swing dresses. Jussayin'

My lovely chap hooked me up with some new black creepers from Asos at Christmas, after my New Look ones finally gave up the ghost. Due to my fecklessness you can't actually see them in most of the photos because self timers...finding the right spot..blah blah. I'm no good at this photo lark, ok? 

But yeah, I love me some creepers. They give any outfit a little rockabilly feel. 

What's been brightening your day?

LondonEdge Feb 2016 part two: Faces!

Following on my from my previous post about the some of the brands at LE, here's some more shots from the catwalk and some generally cool cats I found wandering the event.

Here are some of my faves from the first catwalk:

(I *think* these are mostly, if not all, from Collectif.

Naturally there was a lot of rad looking folks wandering about and some let me grab a photo!

The Collectif gals looked AMAZING!

These dolls from the Pinup Academy (left) handing out free sweets hell yeah.
Right: Reps from Glamour Bunny.

These vintage babes from In Retrospect Magazine.

Two fabulous gals from Audrey Star's Boutique

The blogger seminar, with a guest panel compiled of Vintageena, Honey Pop, and Sophie Hannah, was an interesting opportunity for brands to get to understand the power of bloggers and how to form the best relationships that's productive for both sides. One thing I did notice at the event was how welcoming everyone was to bloggers, and how there is a real push to see the power of blogging.

Shortly after arriving I found myself arriving at the Pinup Academy stall, offering free hair and make up. I was over there in doubletime! Especially given that, catching an 8am train, I was in not fit state to be brushing my hair let alone styling it. 

Admiring the ladies in action

This gorgous lady whipped me up some victory rolls so quickly I barely warmed the seat. She was absolutely hilarious. 

While waiting to get my hair done I bumped into fellow PS bloggers Becky, Charlotte, Lottie, and Tanya. We wandered some stalls, bumping into Georgina of FullerFigureFuller Bust. At the latex stallit was only natural that someone was going to wriggle into something. Don't they look amazing?

Dresses by Yummy Gummy Latex



After a round of latex-clad bottom slapping we hit up Pizza Express for some much needed food before making our respective journeys home.

A long ass-day but I loved every second of it. 

LondonEdge Feb 2016 part 1

Last week I had the privilege of getting a blogger pass to LondonEdge. For those of you not familiar with it, it's an alternative fashion and lifestyle tradeshow and was being held at The Olympia Conference Centre.

I was super excited to attend because, for once, this was the type of brands and styling that really excited me. These were the brands I was shopping and coveting in my gothy teen years and right upto the present day.

Arriving upstairs I got my pass, and a fabulous bloggers goody bag which including some awesome bits including a free bottle of Manic Panic dye! Straight off the bat I was snapping away. The stalls all looked amazing and I was pretty giddy slipping around, lusting after so many amazing bits, discovering new brands, and chatting to some lovely people. That's one thing that stood out to me throughout the whole day was just how welcomging and friendly all the business' were. As bloggers we're not tradesfolk and so being given as much time as we were was really appreciated.

Here are some of the many, many brands at the show (seriously, this wasn;t even like a third of what was there!)

I'll let the photos do the talking!

Killstar

Banned Apparal

The lovely ladies from Lady Luck's Boutique. They were SO friendly and chatted to me for ages.

The Rogue + The Wolf

Victory Parade and Voodoo Vixen

Sourpuss

Erstwilder

Silly Old Sea Dog-These ladies were the nicest folks, and pictured with THAT Flamingo dress

Collectif

THAT Taco Dress from Iron Fist (also the lady who we talked to was SUPER cool)

part two coming up, with catwalks and great faces I saw there!

#TimeToTalk

Thursday 4^th February saw the campaign Time To Talk Day with a view to put mental health in the spot light, and end misconceptions about around it. 

Mental health affects 1 in 4 people in any given year and amongst young people 1 in 10 will experience a mental health issue. Hiday et a 1999 found that “People with severe mental illnesses, schizophrenia, bipolar disorder or psychosis, are 2 ½ times more likely to be attacked, raped or mugged than the general population”

Mental health still faces enormous stigma in our society and is sensationalised in the media, portraying mental health illness suffers as violent to others, or tragic victims. With the negative, dismissive, and outright insulting narrative of mental health it’s hardly surprising that people would be ashamed to speak out about their own experiences.

My depression peaked around the age of 18. I was in 6^th form. I don’t remember much but I remember that it suddenly became increasingly difficult for me to leave the house, and eventually leave my bed. The nights before school I found myself gasping for air, choking on tears as this terror filled me. The anticipation of the next day was too much.

Naturally it affected my studies and I became anxious at the domino effect as I gradually fell behind with each of my subjects. My head of year arranged it so that I was able to study one subject, but I was only allowed to come in for classes and was not to spend time in the common room socialising.

So I had the pressure taken off in terms of my study but my social network stemmed and any opportunity to not dwell indoors with it. I did not attend my exams and flunked out towards the end of the final year.

I felt like I wasn’t being taken seriously; that I was trying to get out of hard work. That’s the thing with depression; you don’t need a reason to feel sad. It’s a sickness that makes you sad.

 But when I say ‘sad’ what do I really mean? The feelings that come with this illness are more than just feeling a bit teary and tired. No one asked what was wrong. Though honestly I don’t think I could have begun to explain.  How do you describe nothingness? A void that grows inside you, that consumes anything in its path. Joy, happiness, hope, motivation, and in fact any other feelings you might experience.

Image taken from a series by Spencer at heymonster [x]

I felt an immense amount of guilt and sadness as I watched my peers go on to university, starting their new lives, as I sat in my bedroom with the curtains drawn. I got into a vicious cycle of feeling down, then feeling anxious because I was feeling down, and then feeling down because I was always anxious.

But it was the nothingness that hurt the most. Some days I would be grateful for the sadness, if not to feel something. Sometimes you can fall in love with your sadness because the alternative is staring into silence. 

I’m pleased to say in the decade that’s followed I am in a much better place, but my cloud is still there. Some days I find myself overwhelmed with inexplicable sadness and emptiness. I cry out of fear, frustration, and sadness. But I do not know why I feel it. Some days the thought of going out, or doing anything other than curling up in a blanket feels like an insurmountable weight crushing you.

But it can get better. It may not go away, but it can become manageable with the right help and the right resources. I know this isn’t always accessible to people but there are many helplines you can access as well. I will list some below.

Samaritans (for any problem): 08457909090 e-mail jo@samaritans.org

Childline (for anyone under 18 with any problem): 08001111

Mind infoline (mental health information): 0300 123 3393 e-mail: info@mind.org.uk

Mind legal advice (for people who need mental-health related legal advice): 0300 466 6463 legal@mind.org.uk

b-eat eating disorder support: 0845 634 14 14 (only open Mon-Fri 10.30am-8.30pm and Saturday 1pm-4.30pm) e-mail: help@b-eat.co.uk

b-eat youthline (for under 25's with eating disorders): 08456347650 (open Mon-Fri 4.30pm - 8.30pm, Saturday 1pm-4.30pm)

Cruse Bereavement Care: 08444779400 e-mail: helpline@cruse.org.uk

Frank (information and advice on drugs): 0800776600

Drinkline: 0800 9178282

Rape Crisis England & Wales: 0808 802 9999 1(open 2 - 2.30pm 7 - 9.30pm) e-mail info@rapecrisis.org.uk

Rape Crisis Scotland: 08088 01 03 02 every day, 6pm to midnight

Allie Brosh wrote some really relatable posts about depression on her blog. Hyperbole and a Half. Allie is super funny, and her famous drawings equally so. You can find the posts here and here

Remember: you are important. You are valuable. You are loved. You are NOT a burden. Do not let anyone convince you that you are difficult or unlovable. 

Photoshoot with Velvet D'Amour

Back in November I bumbled my bumpkin' butt down to London to meet with Velvet D'Amour for a photoshoot. 

I met with Velvet, and MUA Rachel Williamson, in a swanky apartment in Central London. They were immediatly warm and welcoming, with compliments and conversation flowing straight off the bat. I was so nervous because I'd never done anything like this and this was so out of my comfort zone. I was clueless as to what I was supposed to do. Velvet was so vivacious and her energy was infectious, and I soon started to loosen up a bit.

It goes without saying that I was floored with the results. Red and I had such a time choosing from the contact sheets. The experience was difficult at times; London is a hard place for me and because of my inexperience I felt I inconvenienced people at times but Velvet was gracious and understanding throughout the whole thing. I'm really glad for the experience. Sometimes it's worth stepping out of your comfort zone and making fun things happen!

Images courtesy of Velvet D'Amour

Hair and makeup by Rachel Williamson

That's A Wrap! Featuring So Fabulous Faux Fur Coat

Back in September I attended the Curve Fashion Fest in Manchester. So Fabulous were holding a competition to win an outfit just by choosing something from the rails and having your photo snapped in it. Sadly I didn't win it but I was excited to find this Faux Fur Shawl Collar Wrap Coat (phew!). They didn't have my size at the time but it still looked pretty cute.

I wasn't able to get my paws on it until just recently, but luckily we got a second wind of cold winter weather so I didn't lose my chance to wear it. I have been pining for a fur trimmed pea coat style for so long, but most brands like Collectif and so forth don't even acknowledge anything close to my size. 

The coat itself is a lovely soft wool and fully lined. It's actually a little more flurry looking than the photos suggest. I don't personally like the belt that comes with it. I feel a bit like a link of sausages in it so I choose not to wear it with it. The faux fur collar is super soft and I feel like a real luxury bitch in it. 

I did have to size up. Mostly because, while it fit great on top, the bottom buttons were straining and I didn't think they'd last too long. Plus I wanted a coat to actually cover me if I was forking out for a new one! It meant I did have to compromise on a nicer fit on top but at least it's not snug. 

My only disappointment with it is that while the fur collar is detachable (hooray, you can create different looks!) some of the buttons that held it on have come off already and I've only had it a few weeks. Disappointing for the money you are paying. But it IS a fixable issue, if you've got the teeny tiny needles to sew them back on.

Thankfully I didn't pay full price for it as it has been reduced but it's a lovely warm coat, and it looks fab. I'm really pleased with it! 

New Year, Same Old Diet spiel: Is it time we ditched the tired tropes? Trigger warnings for diet talk.

“Every weight loss program, no matter how positively it’s packaged, whispers to you that you’re not right. You’re not good enough. You’re unacceptable and you need to be fixed.”

― Kim Brittingham, Read My Hips: How I Learned to Love My Body, Ditch Dieting, and Live Large

Fat acceptance and body positivity for some is a hard journey. For some it comes suddenly, for some it can be a life time of work. Discovering the body positive movement saved me. It saved me from the years of self-loathing, the decimation of my self-esteem, and helped me re-discover myself. But it also made me appreciate how complex body issues can be, especially as a fat person whose body is highly politicized and reviled by society.

Social media has provided a means for those in marginalised bodies to share and connect where mainstream media has deeply lacked. Navigating this can be a minefield, however.

Recently on my Instagram I found myself coming across many accounts using body positive tags, and importantly tags created by fat people, on weight loss posts and I’ll be honest, it got my heckles up.

It’s a hotly debated issue whether you can actively lose weight and claim to be body positive. I feel that the two are not mutually exclusive per se; you can advocate for people to be respected and loved regardless of size. But I draw the line at using fat positive tags for weight loss posts. I also resent how, when using said tags, there is then the use of health as justification for this.

Dieting, in of itself, is fatphobic. Despite scientificevidence that suggests long term weight loss is impossible for the majority it is still a practice that is actively encouraged. Why is this?

Many people explain that they are losing weight to be “healthier”. This is a fatphobic statement, suggesting that fatness equates to poor health. It is assumptive and wrong. Thinness does not equal health. You don’t need to lose weight to be “healthier”, nor do you need to lose weight to work on your fitness. There are plenty of fat people in the world who involved exercise and fitness regimes into their lifestyles. There is a difference between making healthy goals; i,e walking more, drinking more water, taking more supplements to "I want to be healthy so I will lose weight."

Health is different for every individual and there are many factors to consider, such as mental health and chronic illness. Using the size of your body as a framework for something as complex and individual as health is ill-considered.

Personally, if people want to lose weight, that is entirely their choice. But when you are actively participating in fat positive/body positive spaces I think you need to examine your reasons why you choose to participate in diet culture, a culture that actively oppresses fat people; a culture that is used to humiliate and degrade fat people and to eradicate fatness. Consider that assumptions about health in relation to fatness don’t come from nowhere and that we can all be influenced by a fatphobic society.

There's an increasing attitude within the BOPO/fat-posi movement that when people make criticisms of diet talk within these spaces they are somehow being “negative” or insensitive to other people’s personal journeys or lifestyle choices. Critiquing the content within our own movements is not negative, it’s necessary. We do not move and grow if we can’t examine our own contributions and the ideals we uphold. Weight loss may be a choice but it is unfair to ask these spaces to reassure people that they can stay comfortable in their “choice” to uphold fatphobic ideals.

It’s unfair to use fat positive media circles to promote yourself, while systematically upholding the idea that thinness is the standard for beauty and health.