|Fat girl with legs out; world falls into anarchy and chaos. Or not.|
Friday, 18 September 2015
She's A Beach: A Farewell To Summer.
That's it folks. All 5 days of it. /sarcasm.
Summer is over and with it the cooler nights drawing in quicker and leaves starting to tumble around us. Looking out of my window as I write this I see a grey sky and so I wanted to give a wistful farewell to summer. I felt this was also appropriate given a lot of negativity surrounding the plus size community with Nicole Arbour and recent let downs from Lane Bryant and Evans.
This isn't a particularly ground breaking outfit but it was to me. This summer was the first time in my life that I wore a short skirt and my bare legs out.
As someone who's pretty dang fat, and has been for most of her life, I can't tell you the fear that comes with baring your flesh. My tattoos have given me the confidence to bare my wobbly arms, and mostly because I loathe being too hot. But legs? My legs have always been a point of weakness for me.
Strolling along that beach I almost felt angry at myself because the wind and the sun on my legs felt so amazing and I had denied myself it for so many years. But I had to remember that I'd also spent the majority of my twenty nine years being told that my body should be hidden, that it was disgusting to see, so how I felt had never really come into it. Turning your back on many years of learned, toxic self hatred takes time, so I let the disappointment pass and actually enjoyed how my body felt felt for once in my life.
Sometimes you have to take a risk.
I'm glad I pushed myself out of my comfort zone. To know I can do this, that it's another step towards loving myself and not punishing myself for looking the way I do, as though I should be ashamed.
Plus that sun feels damn good.